Charles expertly jumped off the porch of his house and ran across the lawn to the sidewalk. As usual there were cars zooming up and down the busy street of
His babysitter, Clair, stepped out of the house and shut the door. “Get away from the street,” she said as she took the stairs down to the driveway.
“Charles crinkled his nose in exasperation. “Hurry up,” he said, “you’re so slow—did you lock the door?”
“Yes I did, and would you please be kind enough, my lord, to give me one more second so as to turn on the sprinklers?”
Charles waved his hand impatiently. Clair bowed and retreated up the driveway and to the back yard snickering. Charles couldn’t see the point in watering the lawn when it was mostly weeds, and the grass that was there was dead crabgrass. Recently there had been a dandelion swarm, and all of the cactuses and other plants that littered the porch had been bombarded with the small, fluffy, airborne seeds. There were still some stuck in the cactuses. Now, the dandelions had been replaced by tall, hairy things that branched out like tiny trees and spread faster than gossip at school.
The sprinklers came on and Clair reappeared from the backyard. “Common,” she said, dodging, unsuccessfully, between sprinklers, “I’ve been dying to get some mint-banana ice cream.”
Charles followed Clair up Sonora, taking two and a half steps for every one of hers, and trying to figure out how someone could want ice cream on such a cold day. They crossed an alley and turned left into a small parking lot surrounded by even smaller stores. There was a donut shop, a liquor store, a movie rental store and a family owned grocery store.
They stepped through the door into the grocery store, passing right under a large sign that read “Bread and Goodies.” Charles dashed straight to the “Goodies” section and began peering suspiciously at each piece of candy.
Clair waited until he chose a worthy item, then got her ice cream and went to the counter to pay. “This one’s on me,” she said, pulling some wrinkled bills from her back pocket.
By the time they got back home Charles’ Sugar Daddies and Clair’s ice cream were nowhere to be seen. Clair went around back to turn the sprinklers off while Charles waited on the swinging bench next to the door. A man in a ruffled black suit, carrying a dirty, stained suitcase in one hand and a white cane in the other, came walking down the street. He had a long untidy beard that was tucked into the top of his shirt. Charles waved at him. The man smiled back and nodded politely.
The sprinklers went off and a second later Clair came up the stairs holding a five foot long black cobra. The tail was bouncing up and down with each step. “You’ve got to stop leaving this thing out,” she said, “It could really scare someone.”
Charles laughed and took the rubber snake from Clair’s hand, “Did the little snake scare you?” he said mockingly.
“Not me,” she said, sticking her nose up, “I just don’t want one of the old people in back to see it and have a heart attack, or something.” She mimicked the neighbor coming outside, seeing the snake and grabbing his chest frantically. “Just go put it away, munchkin.”
Charles laughed himself off the porch and ran to the backyard. The back yard was better than the front. There were a wide variety of exotic weeds covering it, and a humongous avocado tree in the corner. Charles found it amazing that the weeds could grow to be so tall and plentiful even when gardeners mowed them down every Sunday. Farther back was the duplex where their nice old neighbors lived.
Charles was halfway to his toy box when he herd Clair shout from the porch, “Oh no! I can’t believe it!”
He dropped his snake and hurried to see what happened. Clair was at the door fidgeting with the handle and peering through the window.
“What’s wrong?” Charles asked.
“I don’t have the keys—I must have left them inside—”
“I thought you said you locked the door.”
“I did” she said, “but just the bottom lock—from inside.” She jiggled the handle one last time, checked her watch and groaned. “Your mom doesn’t get back for three more hours—what are we going to do—she’s going to kill me!”
“Hi, I’m a Christian!”
Charles whirled around and saw a tall black man standing on the sidewalk in front of the house. He was holding a small black suitcase in his left hand and he was grinning at him and Clair.
“You look like you could use some help,” said the man.
Charles looked at Clair, who was frowning, and then back at the man. He was now coming across the wet lawn, slipping a little with every other step. “What seems to be the problem,” he said still grinning.
“Well...” Charles said, feeling a little uncomfortable, “we kind of got locked out of my house—”
“Is that all,” interrupted the man, “well I’ll have you back in there in a jiffy! All we have to do is find an unlocked window.”
Clair perked up, “There might be one in back,” she said.
“Let’s go see then!”
They followed him up the drive way and into the backyard, “All we have to do is find an unlocked window,” the man was mumbling.
They turned the corner of the house and the man gave a yelp of surprise. “WATCH OUT!” he yelled, “A SNAKE!” he shoved his hand in his pocket and a second later a knife was spinning through the air directly at Charles’ rubber snake. “Got it!”
The man bent down to examine the snake which now had a pocket knife sticking out of its head. “Why this is just a fake one!” the man said laughing. He removed the knife from its head and picked the snake up. “It looks so real—I’ll buy it from you—is five dollars ok?”
Charles was stunned by what had just happened but at the mention of money his attention snapped back to the man. “Uh, yea, I guess,” he said.
“Great!” the man said, “After I get you back into your house, ok?”
“Sure.”
The man walked over to the nearest window and set his suitcase down.
“What exactly are you going to do?” Clair asked. She sounded worried, and Charles didn’t blame her; it’s not every day you meet a knife throwing, overly excited, black, Christian man.
“I’m just going to check the windows,” the man said. He opened his suitcase and pulled out a flat head screwdriver. He pried off the screen from the first window and tried to open it. It didn’t work. He tried the other two but they wouldn’t open either. He then went around the house trying every window, but none of them would open.
“Well, I’m sorry, kids,” he said, “your on your own now—I’m sorry I couldn’t help” He put the screwdriver back into the suitcase and picked it up. “I’ll be going now. Bye!”
“Wait,” Charles said, “Do you still want to buy my snake?”
The man patted his pockets searchingly; “Sorry but I don’t have any money on me.”
“Ok,” Charles said, a little disappointed.
“Again, sorry I couldn’t help!”
“That’s ok, thanks for trying,” Clair said, looking a little confused.
The man turned and walked down the driveway, and continued down the street and out of sight. Clair watched him go still looking confused but she also looked like she was about to laugh. “Common,” she said, “let’s just wait on the porch until you’re mom gets back.”
They sat on the swing talking and laughing about what had happened until Charles’ mom turned into the driveway and got out of the car. Charles jumped off the porch and ran up to her. “Mom you’re never going to guess what happened—we met a Christian!”
