Summer comes and goes,
As love learns to grow,
But by the time summer ends,
we weren't even friends.
I thought it was love at first sight,
I though I loved you with all my might,
But I was blind,
I was too kind.
You broke my heart,
I thought we'd never be apart,
But then you said goodbye
And left me there to cry.
I thought we were something,
More than a summer fling,
But you didn't see it that way,
The sun was in your eyes that day.
I could've sworn it was love,
You fit on me like a glove,
It all happened so fast,
I thought it would last.
You were just a summer fling,
Noting important, nothing big.
I thought it was love,
and I thought it was last.
I need some harsh, constructive criticism here. I haven't edited this at all yet. All opinions and thoughts are welcome. :)
-Katelyn
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
I really liked it. I noticed you were trying to have a rhyming pattern, but at the beginning, 'grows' and 'goes' doesn't really rhyme. I really liked it though, it was sweet. ^^
Thanks. I'll take that into consideration when I edit it.
"and I thought it was last."
That's the only part that's really bugging me. It still needs some fixing (like a second draft, hehe) but other than that it's really good. It has a nice flow to it =)
Thanks. I thought I could make the "break the rhyme scheme on the last line" idea work. But obviously, I can't. Ill fix that when I edit it.
Post a Comment